Most of the time a nice brisk run will clear my head. That’s what I was thinking at about 5:35 after a distressing phone call I received this morning. My immediate response was, “I think I need to run.” Translating my thoughts in that statement meant that I know God will meet me outside and we can talk this thing through this morning. I just needed some time to concentrate on breathing. Breathing is all I’ve been concentrating on for several days now, since Saturday, in fact. Inhale—exhale—inhale—exhale…don’t take one breath for granted.
Today on my run, I breathed at deeply as I could. As I did, I remembered once again that every breath is a gift from God. We are breathing the breath that He has given us to breathe to worship Him. I ran past an open field full of coreopsis and remembered the verses about not worrying because the flowers of the field are beautiful and they don’t have to toil or spin, the Lord takes care of their every need. And, the birds of the air do not have to worry, because God even takes notice when just one of them falls from the sky. The same goes for me today and always, I do not have to worry about a thing. God knows what I need. He knows that I’m hurting and sad and weepy today. He knows how I’ll feel tomorrow. He knows what three months from now holds for my family and me and my precious Gramma. And He knows how to care for us and everything we need in the “mean-time”. The God of the end is also God of the means. He is the Author and finisher of my faith. So, today I will cling to Him, because He is my ONLY stronghold! He is my hiding place when I don’t want anyone to see me cry.
Let me quickly fill you in on what I'm writing around about. My Granma Reva was sent to the hospital on Saturday early in the morning, I'm talking 2 AM leaving from Burns Flat, OK where she and my Papa live. She was diagnosed with ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome) on Sunday, June 20, 2010. And, we were told yesterday that she might have to be put on a ventilator to breathe for as little as 30 days and up to 3 months. That also means that she will be sedated or in a medically induced coma for that period of time. We got the call this morning that she was in an emergency situation and the medical staff needed to act immediately if she was going to go through with this next step. So, that's where we are today, in summary. It's a very difficult place to be emotionally today. There are so many thoughts that are swimming to the surface in my brain.
Another day I will try to organize my thoughts to tell you what my Gramma means to me and why this is a huge trial in my life and in the life of my family. She's not just any ordinary cookies and crochet grandma. She's my Gramma Reva, she's anything but ordinary. She's pretty much extraordinary.
The showers did come today. I did not want them to, but the Lord knows that we need water to grow, so rain down on us! I thought that my first submission for my blog would be sunshine, but I guess not. I created this blog yesterday, out of a conviction to be sharing my life online with more than just those who see me daily. So, if you think of my family and me today, pray for us. Today is a rainy/sunshiny day. I wish that I could tell you all that I thought this morning on my run, but I think that I’ll pause for now and fill you in on more tomorrow. Until then here’s a list I want to share with you.
List of good things that can happen:
People at Baptist Hospital come to Christ through my Granma’s life and our testimony
My family members (including me) draw nearer still to the Lord
We all learn to live on purpose everyday, not just when tragedy strikes
My Gramma can be healed miraculously
Our prayers are more in line with God’s will
Our family will be closer even than we were before (we’re already a close family)
We can be a light of encouragement for those who have no or little hope
God CAN be glorified in all of this!
